How to write autobiography essay
Monday, November 4, 2019
Accouting Theory and Tax Rules
1. After preparing the tax return, if the client comes and shows that the deduction for overseas trip made for business purpose he has taken and shows the family photographs of that trip. Then more inquiry should be done from him and on what basis he wants to treat the business trip as business expense (Tpbgovau, 2017). If no proof shown then the tax return must not be proceeded as the client is trying to manipulate the actual income. 2. Taking reasonable care means that the tax prepare must know what exactly the clientââ¬â¢s business is. Tax rules changes with business to business. For example, shares may be an investment for one person and trade for another. It will be treated differently. Therefore, there should be enough knowledge about the clientââ¬â¢s state of affairs to know the impact of taxation on it and can be explained to the taxpayer (Tpbgovau, 2017). 3. Section 4.10 of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997 states about how much income tax is to be paid and it states that the tax is to be paid for each financial year of income earned on the basis of taxable income calculated for that tax year (Austliieduau, 2017). 4. Current tax table and the details about the fees and the charges can be found on the Australian Taxation Officeââ¬â¢s website under the heading ââ¬Å"Tax rates and Codesâ⬠(ATOgovau, 2017). 7. The five legislations or the compliance requirements which can affect the recording of the transaction in the as per Australia Tax laws are as follows: 8. General Journal is the journal used for recording the transactions which are not fitting the criteria of specific journals such as purchase, sales, cash, etc. A correcting entry is recorded in the books of accounts in two ways. One is to reverse the Previous journal entry made and to enter the correct entry. Second method is to make a Single entry which when combines with the original corrects the actual entry. General principle to reconcile balance outstanding is to check which balances are recorded in cash Book and in pass book. Next, is to check which balances are not reflected in the cash Book or the pass book and accordingly the same is to be added or subtracted from the Pass book or cash book respectively. Any event or transaction which decreases the balance of the bank is to be debited as the Payment is being made or any amount is decreasing the bank balance. Tpbgovau. (2017). Tpbgovau. Retrieved 12 March, 2017, from https://www.tpb.gov.au/explanatory-paper-tpb-012010-code-professional-conduct Austliieduau. (2017). Austliieduau. Retrieved 12 March, 2017, from https://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/itaa1997240/s4.10.html Atogovau. (2017). Atogovau. Retrieved 12 March, 2017, from https://www.ato.gov.au/About-ATO/About-us/In-detail/Tenders-and-procurement/Contracting-in-the-ATO/Record-keeping-standard-for-ATO-contractors/?page=1 Iedunotecom. (2015). IEduNotecom. Retrieved 12 March, 2017, from https://iedunote.com/types-of-accounting-journalà à à à à à à à à à à à à à à à à à à à à à à Accounting-simplifiedcom. (2017). Accounting-simplifiedcom. Retrieved 12 March, 2017, from https://accounting-simplified.com/accounting-for-bad-debts.html Atogovau. (2017). Atogovau. Retrieved 12 March, 2017, from https://www.ato.gov.au/Rates/?sorttype=SortByTopic Tpbgovau.(2017).Tpbgovau.Retrieved12March,2017,fromhttps://www.tpb.gov.au/sites/g/files/net1481/f/code_of_professional_conduct_aeu_reasonable_care_to_ascertain_a_clients_state_of_affairs.pdf?v=1469170810
Saturday, November 2, 2019
Construction Engineering Assignment Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1750 words - 1
Construction Engineering - Assignment Example Following are the steps involved in designing new hospitals in Canada(Martin). First and foremost step is designing the patient care areas which may either be for a single patient or for multiple patients. These areas are designed for proper HVAC conditions so that least energy is consumed to maintain required environmental parameters. These areas are usually provided with a window or wall that is directly exposed to harsh weather conditions. Therefore, proper supply and exhaust outlets are provided in order to provide isolation from air borne infections. Rooms being designed for patients with burns, aids or other diseases in which rate of infection is much higher, are provided with protective environment. In this case air pressure within the room is controlled by venture valve. After designing patient care rooms, waiting rooms and examination rooms are designed. These are designed to provide better sitting and waiting conditions to the patients. Usually square plaque diffusers are u sed in these areas in order to provide rapid mix supply of air within the room. Operating rooms within the hospitals are not only provided with good HVAC condition but also with good lightning strategies. Operating rooms are usually provided with laminar flow systems for the diffusion and mixing of air, where surgical areas are provided with air curtain systems. Laboratories in the hospitals are provided with square plaque diffusers. While designing state of the art hospitals in Canada, engineering firms are concerned in designing each part of the HVAC system in the integrated form so that it can be easily modified to updated system when needed. If an engineering firm wants to get gold certification for the design of a hospital then the design must satisfy given LEED parameters with rating of 60 to 79 units(Engineering). Sustainable sites Water efficiency Indoor environment quality Material resources Energy and atmosphere Innovative Design Question 2 Explain the different roles that an architect and an engineer fulfill on a design project where they have to collaborate. Consider that they are both assigned to the hospital project in question 1. What would be the relationship between the engineer and architect? Draw a diagram to illustrate. Architects and engineers collaborate while implementing engineering principles to the construction design and planning of a building. While designing hospitals, collaboration between architects and engineers is highly recommended. Both work side by side for proper placement and working of biomedical as well as other electrical systems. Architects are good at implementing design techniques to solve any problem whereas engineers are good at mathematical work. While designing a hospital, engineers are to decide the size of HVAC unit including compressors and boilers and architects are then to plan for the right space for the placements of instruments. Not only this, but engineers are also good at calculating the right amount of flow that should reach each room as required, they go for calculating the number of units of lights required in the operation theatre and proper positioning and distance of light from operation table. Engineers are also good at handling heavy machinery like CT-scans and MRI machines during installation. Whereas, architects are specialized in developing a hospital structure and map of the building. Figure 1: Engineer ââ¬â Architect Relation Question 3 A consulting engineering firm that is
Thursday, October 31, 2019
ROI social commerce Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 2000 words
ROI social commerce - Essay Example In the modern business environment, social media provides a great opportunity for commerce because of the large audiences that this media draws. But business organizations grapple with how to determine the returns from investing in social media given that it does not give direct returns like the other known forms of investment. Indeed, the benefits accrued from investing in social media could be determined and this paper seeks to elaborate on how to make this achievement. The Big Five ââ¬â Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube and Pinterest - as referred to as by Marsden and Chaney (2012) provide sales opportunities in the emerging social economy. Social commerce has increasingly been adopted by organizations to reach out to wider market coverage more effectively. Griffin (2009) refers to such a strategy as social commerce which the scholar defines as harnessing the wisdom of many from the Internet to assist shoppers in finding and buying products and services. The driving force b ehind this is the social media, which can no longer be considered as a fad but a part of todayââ¬â¢s consumersââ¬â¢ daily lives. ... The commerce aspect appreciates the need for human intervention for a sale to take place (Clapperton, 2012). Increasingly adopted by organizationsââ¬â¢ sales arms, social commerce provides a critical online sales strategy for firms as customers seek for fast product search tools. How to Use Social Media in Social Commerce Having the social media as the business tool and the great audience that comes with it would not be adequate in entirety. There has to be effective strategies in which organizations engage this audience through social media so as to convert the normal activities on the media into opportunities for sale. This is an aspect that organizations need to be well versed in as in the near future, social media would be so enshrined in regular business communication and would only be beneficial to those with effective conversion strategies. The first way in which social media would be used in social commerce involves sharing. According to Marsden and Chaney (2012), organiza tions now create sharable content allowing customers to easily share links on their products or important website pages by placing buttons that would enable the ââ¬Ëlikeââ¬â¢ function for Facebook, ââ¬Ëshare by emailââ¬â¢ or ââ¬ËTweetââ¬â¢. Social sharing gives the ability for users to share content posted on the organizationââ¬â¢s website to their social profiles. Additionally, it allows for inclusion of comments on the item that has been shared. Therefore, social sharing provides an effective way of driving traffic back to the organizationââ¬â¢s site. Secondly, social media could be used as an effective tool to collect feedback through the ratings and reviews on products. While social sharing by word of mouth
Tuesday, October 29, 2019
I am studing phd in operatioanal research and applied statistics my Thesis
I am studing phd in operatioanal research and applied statistics my topic is Data Envelopment Analysis in health care - Thesis Example In this case, the medicine commerce is one of the most prominent industries that make use of this envelopment approaches. Efficiency capacity has been a domain of incredible interest as firms have strived to better efficiency. Causes for this focus were best claimed half a century ago by Farrell in his archetypal document on the measurement of dynamic efficiency. Farrell additionally stated that that chief cause that all trials to resolve the issue and failed, was because of a failure to join the measurements of the numerous inputs into whichever reasonable measure of efficiency (Kuah, Wong & Behrouzi, 2010, p. 3). These insufficient methods creating standard proficiency for one input while disregarding all additional inputs, and building an index of efficiency in which a weighted standard of inputs is compared with efficiency. Reacting to these insufficiencies of distinct indices of labor proficiency and capital profitability were suggested by Farrell an operation scrutiny method that can more efficiently tackle the issue (Cook 7 Seiford, 2009, p. 5). His measures were intended to be applicable to whichever productive firm. From a workshop to an entire financial system, Farrell apparently confined his digital cases and discussion to one output situation, even though Farrell was capable of making a multiple output case (Kuah, Wong & Behrouzi, 2010, p. 3). The provision of a reasonable assessment of every DMU could be argued out that in whichever provided criteria ought to be contrasted simply to other units in similar or less-deprived criteria. A DMU under substantial struggle would be unethic ally punished if contrasted to units in importantly more promising modest surroundings. In the nonexistence of renowned multipliers such as Charnes, Cooper and Rhodes and many others, anticipated deriving suitable multipliers for a provided DMU by resolving a specific non-linear software design issue. Particularly, if DMU is being designed under consideration, the CCR
Sunday, October 27, 2019
The Power Of Healing Through Forgiveness Philosophy Essay
The Power Of Healing Through Forgiveness Philosophy Essay Mahatma Gandhi once said, The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. (APA, pg. 1). She slumped against the wall clutching her knees and tried to concentrate on the pain of the old burn that had never healed, (Piercy, pg.54) When we harbor negative emotions toward others or toward ourselves, or when we intentionally create pain for others; we poison our own physical and spiritual systems. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. It disables a persons emotional resources. The challenge is to refine our capacity to love others as well as ourselves and to develop the power of forgiveness. (Myss (mp3) 2004). Donna Fancourt argues that In addition to the radical destabilization of the categories of dream and reality, the novel also represents further examples of altered states of consciousness. (Francourt, pg.103). Although Boyd submits I dont have a clue about consciousness. It seems utterly mysteri ous to me. But it must be physical, as materialism must be true. (Boyd, pg.15). Mahatma Gandhi once said, The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. (APA, pg. 1). In Woman on the Edge of Time, Marge Piercy introduces us to Connie (Consuelo Ramos), a thirty-six year old, who is abused, misdiagnosed, tortured and appears to be a sociopath to her doctors. Connies been in a mental hospital for child abuse and, as a result, her daughter Angelina has been taken from her. When you get hurt by someone you care about a lot, normally brings about thoughts of anger and revenge and one can hold on to that anger for a very long time, and if anger and revenge is held onto then that individual is giving their power away. In Woman on the Edge of Time, Marge Piercy uses a perfect illustration of Connie to portray this, power, or more specifically, the lack thereof. Being powerless, Connie had to make herself believe to be ill, accepting Anglo definitions of success, relationships, and sanity. She slumped against the wall clutching her knees and tried to concentrate on the pain of the old burn that had never healed, (Piercy, pg.54) Connie has to accept this reality and wont be able to bloat out her memory, as she has plenty of regrets and anger. She is not sick nor is she suffering from any mental illness, Connie will have to gather up all her courage and will power to cooperate with the doctors to achieve a better reality elsewhere, and this could be through her subconscious mind. This internal power derived from a created reality is what Connie is attempting to achieve a chance at regaining power. Marge Piercy talks about how the Mattapoisett are at war and learn that the residents have to volunteer to go and fight. Sound wave making weapons are used to knock out the enemy. Although, before firing each sound wave, Luciente prays, Forgive me, if you are living and I kill you. (Piercy, pg. 62) even though Luciente does not know if the enemies are robots or if they are controlled by human beings, he feels obligated to ask for forgiveness. In 3 Levels of Power, Caroline Myss discusses the tribal, the individual, and the symbolic levels of power. Myss explains that the brain has the ability to create a distinct reality, one that you want to choose, 3rd is your mental level, the kind of power to see reality clearly. [] You have to have an incredible sense of internal power to withdraw your power from the tribal limits on your reality. (Myss (pdf) pg. 2). Caroline Myss goes on to explain why forgiveness is so powerful and pissing it away is so negative, as she explains When we harbor negative emotions toward others or toward ourselves, or when we intentionally create pain for others, we poison our own physical and spiritual systems. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. It disables a persons emotional resources. The challenge is to refine our capacity to love others as well as ourselves and to develop the power of forgiveness.(Myss (mp3) 2004). Myss, states that forgiveness is what helps us disconnect from the tribe, maneuvering us into individual power, and getting us into the present time. Myss compares this level to the strength of cologne, Its stronger than eau d toilette, and will last longer (Myss (mp3) 2004). Although Myss is very resolute to say that, The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And thats why when one has become a forgiving person, and has managed to let go of the past, what theyve really done is theyve shifted their relationship with time.(Myss (mp3) 2004). When someone is content with ones life, the negative energy is hard to affect someone, especially one who is ill, as that person who is sick is primarily focused on dealing with what is ahead of you, instead of complaining and arguing (Myss (mp3) 2004), Myss goes on to explain that if one learns how to love oneself, by appreciating life, the healing process within happens faster and better because of the inner belief that, one can fight this illness and not give away power. Donna Fancourt argues that In addition to the radical destabilization of the categories of dream and reality, also represents further examples of altered states of consciousness (Francourt, pg.103), furthermore she said, that the drugs given to Connie may have facilitated her hallucinations. (Fancourt, pg. 108). Achieving the 3rd level of power is not something everyone can do, unless you have trained yourself to go-to that state through meditation, and now you are an expert in doing so. Myss and Piercy, both show that it is achieved through the aide of illness to tap into that power. The tribe says this illness you have cant be healed quickly but someone with a strong sense of eye, can look at the other side and say, it may be true for you but not for me, you can choose a different path of healing, youre using other thought processes (Myss (mp3) 2004). Very similar to Piercy, as Luciente comments, We can only know what we can truly imagine [because] what we see comes from ourselves (Piercy, pg. 328). If making connections with one another and nature, both mental and physical, then these connections can only be aided by altering states of consciousness. Connie enters Mattapoisett through her ability to reach different states of consciousness; her first alertness of an alternative reality is of hazy memories of dreams with the mysterious Luciente, and she awakens one morning with the sense [] that there was more she had not remembered, a sensation of return, blurred but convincing (Piercy, pg. 33). In Accessing Utopia through Altered States of Consciousness, Fancourt tries to show how Piercy tries to blur the states of consciousness, These cloudy memories and dreams soon overlap into daydreams and increasingly longer states of unconsciousness: by the end of the novel, Connie is spending up to twelve hours at a time in Mattapoisett. (Fancourt, pg. 105). In Accessing Utopia through Altered States of Consciousness, Fancourt discusses, how one may access this power , à ¢Ã¢â ¬Ã ¦accessing utopia takes place through a specific process of altering states of consciousness. These altered states range widely from dreaming and meditation to psychic healing, (Fancourt, pg. 95). Although being able to switch from dream to reality in Connies case, was something she could achieve very easily and that is one of the main reasons Luciente chose Connie as the experimental contact. Although Boyd submits I dont have a clue about consciousness. It seems utterly mysterious to me. But it must be physical, as materialism must be true. (Boyd, pg.15). Worthington idea In Forgiveness: A Sampling of Research Results, can be used to understand how Lucientes act of prayer gives him a chance to regain power, Forgiveness is fostered by acknowledgment from harm doers of their actions, empathy with those they have harmed, expressions of regret and apology (APA, pg. 31). The states of consciousness, In Woman on the Edge of Time by Piercy points to the Mattapoisett people who turn to violence are advised to consult a healer. A second offence, however, causes execution since the community arent willing to live with people who choose to use violence (Piercy, pg. 209). The people of Mattapoisett, recognize that the people who turn to violence are giving away their power and should seek forgiveness by visiting a healer to begin their healing process and to remove any illness within . Asking for forgiveness and giving forgiveness, is the greatest ways of showing love, and in doing so will not only heal your relationship with the other person but also bring bliss and inner peace. Power and forgiveness, is the main themes of Myss stories, The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And thats why when one has become a forgiving person, and has managed to let go of the past, what theyve really done is theyve shifted their relationship with time. (Myss (mp3) 2004) and in the story of Connie (Woman on the Edge of Time) by Piercy, gives an example of how [t]hanksgiving in the Mattapoisett traditional religious conformism is replaced with a new set of rituals intended to promote individuality, with [t]hanksmaking (Piercy, pg. 174) where they would fast for the whole day (twenty four hours) before they go around asking forgiveness from everyone [they] have offended in the year (Piercy, pg. 174). Whether it is in your sub conscious or couscous state of mind, Boyd uses the example of what David Chalmers, said in The Conscious Mind, I dont have a clue about consciousness. It seems utterly mysterious to me. But it must be physical, as materialism must be true.(Boyd, pg.15). In Forgiveness: A Sampling of Research Results, Mullet et al, discovered that, Most (58%) of participants agreed that forgiveness could be an intergroup process, 28% were neutral, and only 14% thought that it was not possible for a group of people to ask another group for forgiveness. (APA, pg. 35). What does this mean to us you may ask? Well, Every individual has a reaction to the illness that they are encompassed by and the energy released from that illness, gives ones mind the power and ability of forgiveness, Every illness is a power responsewhen your body mind or spirit is going through any kind of reshaping it automatically presumes that a rebalancing of power is taking place (Myss (mp3) 2004) to leave the physical world and enter into a world where the transcendent mind is present, We can only know what we can truly imagine. Finally what we see comes from ourselves. (Piercy, pg. 332).
Friday, October 25, 2019
Reforestation :: essays research papers
Reforestation The purpose of this written report is to inform the reader about the concerns and facts involved with reforestation. Reforestation began in Ontario after World War II. What happened was, professional foresters were assigned to an area and became responsible for its well being. Under the Crown Timber Act, long term management was prepared. Then the many steps needed to rebuild a forest began. Included in this report will be information on the effects of cutting and replanting, such as Carbon Dioxide, and Global Warming. Following this will be methods for planning a forest, and how they are conveyed before planting in a forest begins. There are many reasons why forests are cut down. One is to benefit economically, with furniture and home building. But there is also another reason. Arguments say "the United States could help slow the atmospheric accumulation of carbon dioxide by replacing old-growth forests with faster-growing young trees". A new study of young and old forests says how this is in fact not true. Loggers have said that new trees pull the carbon dioxide better than old trees, and this may seem true, but it is not. There is one point being overlooked from all of this. The older, larger trees can store much, much more carbon dioxide than a new tree could. By cutting and burning these magnificent seasoned trees, the CO2 is being released back into the atmosphere. These releases of carbon dioxide add up in our surroundings, only to intensify Global Warming. Although this shows what happens when one burns and cuts down old forests, one must still plant new trees for long term plans, not letting them grow for a few years, to then cut them down. There are many methods for planning a forest. The simplest method of replanting a forest is to leave it to nature. A suitable seed bed in which trees will readily take root is integral for successful regeneration. Reducing competition by eliminating grass, weed or shrubs is another requirement in securing a new crop of trees. These will sprout to produce seedlings. Though the weeds were eliminated before, they still grow back, and because of this poor, quality trees will grow. Another method though, is to create a planned forest, where new conifers are grown from seed in a special nursery. Seeding is a reforestation technique used mainly in the Boreal forest area where fire or logging tends to leave no or very little seeds for growth. In specific cases, Ministry staff seed the area with treated tree seeds. Following this is the planting. In many
Thursday, October 24, 2019
The Silver Linings Playbook Chapter 27
As If He Were Yoda and I Were Luke Skywalker Training on the Dagobah System When we finish discussing our Kubb tournament victory and Mrs. Patel's extraordinary ability to render an exact likeness of Brian Dawkins's bust on the hood of a school bus, I pick the black recliner and tell Cliff I am a little depressed. ââ¬Å"What's wrong?â⬠he says, pulling the lever and raising his footrest. ââ¬Å"Terrell Owens.â⬠Cliff nods, as if he were expecting me to bring up the wide receiver's name. I did not want to talk about this earlier, but it was reported that Terrell Owens (or T.O.) tried to kill himself on September 26. News reports stated that T.O. overdosed on a pain medication. Later, after T.O. was released from the hospital, he said he did not try to kill himself, and then everyone began to think he was crazy. I remember T.O. as a young 49er, but Owens was not on the 49ers' roster when I watched the Eagles play in San Francisco a few weeks ago. What I learned from reading the sports pages was that T.O. had played for the Eagles when I was in the bad place, and he had helped the Birds get to Super Bowl XXXIX, which I do not remember at all. (Maybe this is good, since the Eagles lost, but not remembering still makes me feel crazy.) T.O. apparently held out for more money the next year, said bad things about Eagles QB Donovan McNabb, was suspended for the second half of the season, and then was actually cut from the team, so he signed with the very team Eagles fans hate most ââ¬â the Cowboys. And because of this, everyone in Philadelphia currently hates T.O. more than just about anyone else on the planet. ââ¬Å"T.O.? Don't worry about him,â⬠Cliff says. ââ¬Å"Dawkins is going to hit him so hard that Owens will be afraid to catch any balls at the Linc.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm not worried about T.O. making catches and scoring touchdowns.â⬠Cliff looks at me for a second, as if he does not know how to respond, and then says, ââ¬Å"Tell me what worries you.â⬠ââ¬Å"My father refers to T.O. as a psychopathic pill popper. And on the phone this week, Jake also made jokes about T.O. taking pills, calling Owens a nutter.â⬠ââ¬Å"Why does this bother you?â⬠ââ¬Å"Well, the reports I read in the sports pages claimed that T.O. was possibly battling depression.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yes.â⬠ââ¬Å"Well,â⬠I say, ââ¬Å"that would suggest maybe he needs therapy.â⬠ââ¬Å"And?â⬠ââ¬Å"If Terrell Owens is really depressed or mentally unstable, why do the people I love use it as an excuse to talk badly about him?â⬠Cliff takes a deep breath. ââ¬Å"Hmmm.â⬠ââ¬Å"Doesn't my dad understand that I'm a psychopathic pill popper too?â⬠ââ¬Å"As your therapist, I can confirm that you are clearly not psychopathic, Pat.â⬠ââ¬Å"But I'm on all sorts of pills.â⬠ââ¬Å"And yet you are not abusing your medications.â⬠I can see what Cliff means, but he doesn't really understand how I feel ââ¬â which is a mix of very complicated and hard-to-convey emotions, I realize ââ¬â so I drop the subject. When the Dallas Cowboys come to Philadelphia, the fat men's tent and the Asian Invasion bus are combined to create a super party that again features a Kubb tournament on Astroturf, satellite television, Indian kabobs, and much beer. But I cannot concentrate on the fun, because all around me is hatred. The first things I notice are the homemade T-shirts other tailgaters are buying and selling and wearing. So many different slogans and images. One has a cartoon of a small boy urinating on the Dallas star, and the caption reads dallas sucks. t.o. swallows â⬠¦ pills. Another shirt has a large prescription bottle with the universal skull-and-crossbones poison symbol on the label and terrell owens written underneath. Yet another version features the pill bottle on the front and a gun on the back, under which the caption reads T.O., if at first you don't succeed, buy a gun. A nearby tailgater has nailed T.O.'s old Eagles jersey to a ten-foot cross, which is also covered with orange prescription bottles that look exactly like mine. People are burning their old T.O. jerseys in the parking lot; human-size dolls in T.O. jerseys are strung up so people can hit them with bats. And even though I do not like any Dallas Cowboy, I feel sort of bad for Terrell Owens because maybe he really is a sad guy who is having trouble with his mind. Who knows, maybe he really did try to kill himself? And yet everyone mocks him, as if his mental health is a joke ââ¬â or maybe they want to push him over the edge and would like nothing more than to see T.O. dead. Because of my poor throws, Cliff and I get knocked out of the Kubb tournament early, losing the five bucks my brother fronted me, and this is when Cliff asks me to help him move some India Pale Ale out of the Asian Invasion bus. When we are inside of the bus, he closes the door and says, ââ¬Å"What's wrong?â⬠ââ¬Å"Nothing,â⬠I say. ââ¬Å"You weren't even looking to see where your batons landed, you were so distracted during the Kubb games.â⬠I say nothing. ââ¬Å"What's wrong?â⬠ââ¬Å"You're not in your leather seat.â⬠Cliff sits down, pats the bus seat, and says, ââ¬Å"Pleather will have to do today.â⬠I sit down in the seat across from Cliff and say, ââ¬Å"I just feel bad for T.O. That's all.â⬠ââ¬Å"He's getting millions of dollars to endure this type of criticism. And he thrives on it. He brings it on himself with those touchdown dances and the hoopla. And these people don't really want T.O. to die; they just don't want him to perform well today. It's all in good fun.â⬠Now, I know what Cliff means, but it doesn't seem like good fun to me. And regardless of whether T.O. is a millionaire or not, I'm not sure T-shirts encouraging anyone to shoot himself in the head should be condoned by my therapist. But I don't say anything. Back outside the bus I see that Jake and Ashwini are in the final game of the Kubb tournament, so I try to cheer for them and block out the hatred that surrounds me. Inside the Linc, all throughout the first half, the crowd sings, ââ¬Å"O.D. ââ¬â O.D., O.D., O.D. ââ¬â O.D. ââ¬â O.D.â⬠Jake explains that the crowd used to sing, ââ¬Å"T.O. ââ¬â T.O., T.O., T.O. ââ¬â T.O. ââ¬â T.O.â⬠back when Owens was an Eagle. I watch Owens on the sideline, and even though he doesn't have many catches yet, he seems to be dancing to the rhythm of the crowd's O.D. song, and I wonder if he is really so immune to seventy thousand people mocking his near overdose or if he really feels differently inside. Again I can't help feeling bad for the guy. I wonder what I would do if seventy thousand people mocked my forgetting the last few years of my life. By halftime Hank Baskett has two catches for twenty-five yards, but the Eagles are losing 21 ââ¬â 17. All throughout the second half, Lincoln Financial Field is alive; we Eagles fans know that first place in the NFC East is at stake. With just under eight minutes to go in the third, everything changes. McNabb throws a long one down the left side of the field. Everyone in my section stands to see what will happen. Number 84 catches the ball in Dallas territory, puts a move on the defender, takes off for the end zone, and then I am in the air. Under me are Scott and Jake. I'm riding high on their shoulders. Everyone in our section is high-fiving me because Hank Baskett has finally scored his first NFL touchdown ââ¬â an eighty-seven-yarder ââ¬â and of course I am wearing my Baskett jersey. The Eagles are winning, and I am so happy that I forget all about T.O. and start to think about my dad watching at home on his huge television, and I wonder if maybe the TV cameras caught me when I was riding high on Jake's and Scott's shoulders. Maybe Dad saw a life-size me celebrating on his flat screen, and maybe he is even proud. A series of tense moments get our hearts beating at the end of the fourth quarter, when Dallas is driving, down 31 ââ¬â 24. A score will send the game into OT. But Lito Sheppard intercepts Bledsoe and returns the pick for a TD, and the whole stadium sings the Eagles fight song and chants the letters, and the day is ours. When the clock ticks down, I look for T.O. and see him sprint off the field and into the locker room without even shaking the hand of one single Eagle. I still feel bad for him. Jake and Scott and I exit the Linc and run into the Asian Invasion ââ¬â which is easy to spot from far away because it consists of fifty Indian men, usually clumped together, all in Brian Dawkins jerseys. ââ¬Å"Just look for fifty number 20's,â⬠they always say. Cliff and I run up to each other and high-five and scream and yell, and then all fifty Indian men start chanting, ââ¬Å"Baskett, Baskett, Baskett!â⬠And I am so happy; I pick little Cliff up and hoist him onto my shoulders and carry him back to the Asian Invasion bus as if he were Yoda and I were Luke Skywalker training on the Dagobah System in the middle section of The Empire Strikes Back, which is ââ¬â as I told you before ââ¬â one of my all-time favorite movies. ââ¬Å"E!-A!-G!-L!-E!-S! EAGLES!â⬠we chant so many times as we navigate the crowds and find our way back to our spot behind the Wachovia Center, where the fat men are waiting with ice-cold celebration beers. I keep hugging Jake and hig h-fiving Cliff and chest bumping the fat men and singing with the Indians. I am so happy. I am so impossibly happy. When the Asian Invasion drops me off in front of my house, it's late, so I ask Ashwini not to blow the Eagles chant horn and he reluctantly agrees ââ¬â although when the bus rounds the corner at the end of my street, I hear fifty Indian men chant, ââ¬Å"E!-A!-G!-L!-E!-S! EAGLES!â⬠I can't help smiling as I enter my parents' home. I am ready for Dad. After such a big win ââ¬â a win that puts the Eagles in first place ââ¬â surely Dad will want to talk to me. But when I enter the family room, no one is there. No beer bottles on the floor, no dishes in the sink. In fact, the whole house looks spotless. ââ¬Å"Dad? Mom?â⬠I say, but no one answers. I saw both of their cars in the driveway when I came home, so I am very confused. I begin to climb the steps, and the house is deadly quiet. I check my bedroom, and my bed's made and the room is empty. So I knock on my parents' bedroom door, but no one answers. I push the door open and immediately wish I hadn't. ââ¬Å"Your father and I made up after the Eagles victory,â⬠Mom says with a funny smile. ââ¬Å"He aims to be a changed man.â⬠The sheet is pulled up to their necks, but somehow I know my parents are naked underneath the covers. ââ¬Å"Your boy Baskett healed the family,â⬠my father says. ââ¬Å"He was a god out there on the field today. And with the Eagles in first place, I thought, Why not make up with Jeanie?â⬠Still, I cannot speak. ââ¬Å"Pat, maybe you'd like to go for a run?â⬠my mom suggests. ââ¬Å"Maybe just a little half-hour run?â⬠I close their bedroom door. While I change into a tracksuit, I think I hear my parents' bed squeak, and the house seems to shake a little too. So I slip on my sneakers and run down the stairs and out the front door. I sprint across the park, run around to the back of the Websters' house, and knock on Tiffany's door. When she answers, she's in some sort of nightgown and her face looks confused. ââ¬Å"Pat? What are you ââ¬â ââ¬Å" ââ¬Å"My parents are having sex,â⬠I explain. ââ¬Å"Right now.â⬠Her eyes widen. She smiles and then laughs. ââ¬Å"Just let me get changed,â⬠she says, and then shuts the door. We walk for hours ââ¬â all around Collingswood. At first I ramble on and on about T.O., Baskett, my parents, Jake, the Asian Invasion, my wedding pictures, my mother's ultimatum actually working ââ¬â everything ââ¬â but Tiffany does not say anything in response. When I run out of words, we simply walk and walk and walk, and finally we are in front of the Websters' house and it is time to say good night. I stick my hand out and say, ââ¬Å"Thanks for listening.â⬠When it is clear that Tiffany's not going to shake, I start to walk away. ââ¬Å"Turn around, bright eyes,â⬠Tiffany says, which is a very weird thing for her to say, because my eyes are brown and very dull, but of course I turn around. ââ¬Å"I'm going to give you something that will confuse you, and maybe even make you mad. I don't want you to open it until you are in a very relaxed mood. Tonight is out of the question. Wait a few days, and when you are feeling happy, open this letter.â⬠She pulls a white business envelope out of her jacket pocket and hands it to me. ââ¬Å"Put it away in your pocket,â⬠she says, and I do as I am told, mostly because Tiffany looks so deathly serious. ââ¬Å"I will not be running with you until you give me your answer. I will leave you alone to think. Regardless of what you decide, you cannot tell anyone about what is inside of that envelope. Understand? If you tell anyone ââ¬â even your therapist ââ¬â I'll know by looking in your eyes, and I will never speak to you again. It's best if you simply fo llow my directions.â⬠My heart is pounding. What is Tiffany talking about? All I want to do is open the envelope now. ââ¬Å"You have to wait at least forty-eight hours before you open that. Make sure you are in a good mood when you read the letter. Think about it, and then give me your answer. Remember, Pat, I can be a very valuable friend to you, but you do not want me as an enemy.â⬠I remember the story Ronnie told me about how Tiffany lost her job, and I begin to feel very afraid.
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